Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i've created a new STD.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
