I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
