he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
