Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
