its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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