I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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