drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You were trust falling into bushes
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
