I wish i was in the wii world.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
