you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
birth control should be required to get into college
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
