yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
