Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
