I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
