Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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(727): View more from Florida

If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.

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(514): View more from Quebec

It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.

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(614): View more from Ohio

first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out

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