I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
