I wannas sexs uuuuu
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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