Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
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