TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
