Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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