i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
