You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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