ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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