So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am available for nakedness
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
