and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
