I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
