Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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