Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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