Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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