okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
