Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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