we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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