Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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