i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
