the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Congratulations! We have a period
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
