What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
