kristin has been a bad kristin
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I won the penis lottery.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
