Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
ttyl tear gas
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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