We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
