You're so nebulous sometimes
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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