I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
