Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
