and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
