Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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