we have officially lost it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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