Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Non-Jews are for practice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
