So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
