I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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