Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
