Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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