turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
