I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Two words: nipple clamps
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